Today's article is all about marriage. This post is divided up into five parts which include men's responsibilities, woman's responsibilities, Couples in the Bible, Divorce and Remarriage, and a Other category. I won't be focusing a whole lot on kids in this post as I plan on doing an article on Parenting in the future.
Man's Roles
The first category that we will be taking a look at today focuses on the responsibility of the husband and his role in marriage. The bible teaches us that the husband is the head of the wife and thus he has authority over her. However the man is not to use that authority to oppress his wife, instead he should use it to serve her in love. Take Christ's for an example, he washed his disciples feet. Also Christ taught that the Chief should be the servant (Est 1:22, 1Cor 11:3, Eph 5:23, Mat 20:25-28, Joh 13:12-17).
We see that this is further demonstrated when husbands are taught to love their wives as their own bodies, to love them as they love their self, and to even give their life if need be just like Christ did for the Church (Eph 5:25, Eph 5:28-29, Eph 5:33). An husband that refuses to provide for his family isn't a Christian at all but he is worse than unbelievers (1Tim 5:8).
Obviously husbands need to be faithful to their wives (Pro 5:15 -23), but what other instructions does the bible say concerning husbands? We see in the book of Ecclesiastes that husbands are told to live joyfully with their wives (Ecc 9:9), in the books of 1 Timothy and Titus we see that Bishops/Deacons/Elders were to be the husband of one wife and to rule their houses well/have faithful children (1Tim 3:2-4,3:12, Tit 1:6). We see by 1Cor 14:35 that a husband should be able to teach his wife also.
Additionally husbands are taught to not be bitter against their wives (Col 3:19), to dwell with them according to knowledge and give them honour (1Pe 3:7). So according to these passages we see that the role of an husband is to protect, provide for, teach and love his wife among other things. I also believe that the tough outside jobs is the man's responsibility in light of Gen 3:17-19.
Woman's Roles
In this section we will be covering what wives are instructed to do. As a result of the fall women experience pain in childbearing and desire to rule over their husbands (Gen 3:16, Gen 4:7). As Christians, women should be submissive to their husbands and the bible even goes so far as to say she should reverence him (Eph 5:22-24, Eph 5:33, Col 3:18, 1Pe 3:1 -6
In Tit 2:3 -5 older women are instructed to:
1. not falsely accuse
2. not drink too much wine
3. to teach good things.
see also 1Tim 3:11
This is so they can teach the younger ladies to be sober also, and to love their husbands and children; as well as teaching them to be chaste, discreet, keepers at home etc. Older women were also instructed to teach the younger to be obedient to their husbands so that God's word wouldn't be blasphemed. Though many women disregard these instructions for wives today the last part of verse 5 seems to emphasize the importance of these instructions.
Another teaching that seems to have gone the way of the dinosaur in today's culture is dressing modestly. In addition to dressing modestly scripture teaches woman to adorn themselves with good works instead of expensive apparel. They are also instructed to learn in silence and not to usurp authority over or teach the man (1Cor 14:35, 1Ti 2:9 -15).
There are alot of women today that consider children a curse! The bible calls children a reward and not a curse (Psa 127:3-5), Paul instruct his female audience to marry and bear children as well as to guide the house (1Tim 5:14); this is further proof that children are a blessing and that a married woman's place is in the home.
See also: Pro 14:1, Pro 31:10 -31
Divorce and Remarriage
Now we come to the topic of divorce and remarriage. I wish that I could tell you that this issue is cut and dry, that yes it's ok or no it isn't. Sadly however this issue isn't as simple as that. There has been much debate in the church on this issue and I can only give you the verses that touch on it with my opinion.
There are three main points of view in the church today in regards to divorce and remarriage and they are:
1. It's never ok to divorce and remarry
2. It's ok in cases of fornication (infidelity).
3. It's ok in cases of fornication or if unbelieving spouse departs.
We see in the Old Testament that Moses suffered people to get divorced (Deu 24:1-4) however Jesus tells us that he did this because of there hard hearts and then goes on to quote Gen 2:24-25, telling them that God made husband and wife one flesh and what God had joined together let not man put asunder; and that divorce + remarriage=adultery (Mar 10:2-12, Luk 16:18). Hence the position of point number one.
Then there is those that hold to position #2, that divorce and remarriage isn't a sin if the offending spouse commits fornication. They cite Mat 5:31-32 and Mat 19:3 -9 to support their position.
Christian's who hold to Point #3 cite 1Cor 7:15 and say that one can remarry also if the unbelieving spouse leaves the Christian spouse.
I think that it's important to note that although God hates putting away (Mal 2:14 -16), he did divorce Israel (Isa 50:1), although he is still considered her husband (Isa 54:5-7, Jer 3:1, Jer 3:14). Additionally if we truly desire to follow in the footsteps of Christ we shouldn't divorce our wives because he promised to never leave or forsake his wife the church (Mat 28:20, Heb 13:5).
To conclude this section I just wanted to state that it was my personal conviction that it's never OK to remarry as long as your spouse is yet alive in light of Rom 7:3, 1Co 7:10-11, and 1 Cor 7:39. I find these verses especially relevant for today since they were written by Paul who was the apostle of the gentiles, and because these are some of if not the last instructions the bible gives us regarding divorce and remarriage. However I do not claim to be infallible concerning this issue and hope for my friends and families sake that I was wrong on this particular issue. See also 1Cor 7:27-28.
Author's note: check out Michael Criswell powerful youtube testimony in favor of position #3, it being ok if unbeliever departs.
Couples in Scripture
In this section we will be mentioning some of the more well known married couples of the bible. The first married couple that is mentioned in scripture is of coarse Adam and Eve (Gen 2:21-25, Gen 3:20). It was through Adam's fall that sin entered the world (Rom 5:12). Next we have Abraham and Sarah (Gen 11:29), they didn't have their first child until he was 100 (Gen 21:5, Rom 4:19, Heb 11:11-12).
There's Isaac and Rebekah (Gen 24:67), she was fetched by his father's servant. Then there's the story of Jacob and his wives (Gen 29:23-28), he was tricked into marrying Leah when he wanted Rachael. Jacob eventually ended up having four wives and begetting the fathers of the twelve tribes of Israel. Joseph was given Asenath to wife by the Pharaoh (Gen 41:45), Moses married Zipporah (Exo 2:21), and then later an Ethiopian (Num 12:1).
The book of Ruth tells us of the circumstances by which King David's great-grandparents met (Rth 4:9 -13). The beginning of the book of Samuel tells of how a woman named Hannah was barren and then prayed to the Lord for a son (1 Sam 1); who after giving him to the Lord she bare even more children (1 Sam 2:21).
King David had several wives over the coarse of his life including Saul's daughter Michal (1Sam 18:27), Abigail and Bathsheba; they were the widow's of Nabal and Uriah (1 Sam 25:3, 2 Sam 11:3). There's the Notorious couple Ahab and Jezebel (1Ki 21:6-7) Ahab coveted Naboth's vineyard and his wife (Jezebel) had Naboth slain for it. There's the story of Esther and the King (Est 2:16-17), the Lord used her to save the Jews from the wicked Haman. It would be embarrassing if I didn't mention Mary and Joseph in this study (Mat 1:18-19), after all they did raise our Messiah.
We learn by the verse in Mat 8:14 that Peter was married, see also 1Cor 9:5. Jesus tells us to Remember Lot's wife in Luk 17:32, she's the one who turned into a pillar of salt for looking back (Gen 19:26). Zacharias ended up not being able to speak as a result of doubting the angels message that he and his wife Elisabeth would have a child (Luk 1:5-25, Luk 1:57-64), they were the parents of John the Baptist. There's Ananias and Sapphira who were known to have fallen down dead for lying about how much they sold their land for in Acts 5:1-10.
Perhaps the most frequently mentioned married couple by name in the new testament aka the book of Acts onward is Priscilla and Aquila (Act 18:2-3, Act 18:26, Rom 16:3, 1Cor 16:19). They were known to have been Pauls helpers in the Lord, they also shared the same occupation as Paul for they were tent-makers.
The Last and most significant married couple recorded in scripture is Christ and the church (2Cor 11:2, Eph 5:32, Rev 19:7-9), although at the time that I'm writing this the marriage has yet to take place.
Other Relevant Verses on Marriage
To conclude this study on marriage I just wanted to go over several bible passages about this issue, mostly in chronological order from the first to the last. Concerning laws that were given to Israel, in Exo 21:8 -11 we see instructions given to master's regarding how they are to treat their wives or daughter in laws. Exo 22:16 -17 taught us that back in the OT if a man slept with a gal who wasn't engaged he had to marry her unless her father disapproved, See also Deut 22:28-29.
Furthermore we see in Lev 18:6 that incest is forbidden in scripture. The Israelite high priest was instructed to take a virgin to wife in Lev 21:10 -14, and the bible also tells us that the Israelite's were forbidden to marry strange (foreign) women because these women would turn away their hearts from the Lord (Deu 7:1-4, Josh 23:12-13, Ezr 10:2-3, Neh 13:25 -27). Israelite kings were told to not have many wives for the same reason (Deu 17:17). Solomon was a prime example of these two points (1Ki 11:1-3).
When we come to Deu 22:13 -27 we see the importance of saving yourself for marriage as women who slept around before marriage were stoned. We also learn from these passages that adulterers were stoned if found within the city, but if a girl who was engaged was raped outside of town then only the man was put to death.
In my opinion ancient Israelites experienced the ultimate honeymoon, the man got the whole year off of work in order to make his wife happy (Deu 24:5). Also back in the OT it was the duty of the male Israelite to marry his brother's widow if she was childless in order to preserve his brother's name. Also women were forbidden from taking hold of her husband's attacker's shall we say "weak spot" in order to defend him (Deu 25:5 -12).
There are many people nowadays who shy away from marriage and instead just live together with their lovers, but the bible tells us that those that find a wife find a good thing and obtain God's favor (Pro 18:22). Marriage isn't always peaches and cream however as Pro 19:13, Pro 21:9 , and Pro 21:19 demonstrate that living with a woman isn't always a picnic. On the other hand the book called
Song of Solomon shows just how sweet love can be.
We see from Mal 2:15 that the whole point of marriage or at least why God made them one flesh was so that they would produce godly offspring. Nowadays people are making babies left and right but how many of those parent are raising their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph 6:4). Another thing to note about marriage is that it is something done in this world, but those that rise from the dead will not marry or be given in marriage but will be as the angels of heaven (Mat 22:30, Mar 12:23 -25, Luk 20:34 -36).
Okay, just a few more things about marriage left. There's Jesus turning water into wine at the marriage at Cana (Joh 2:1-11), the woman at the well who had five husbands Joh 4:18, and we see that God doesn't approve of same sex "marriages" from Rom 1:24-27.
There's alot that can be said about marriage from 1 Corinthians 7, however I already touch on quite a bit of it elsewhere so let me just mention that Paul wrote that if a believer had married an unbeliever they should stick together if the unbeliever desires to dwell with him/her (1 Cor 7:12-16).
Finally we see from Heb 13:4 that the marriage bed is undefiled, therefore couples shouldn't feel guilty that they want to be intimate with each other.
See also: Isa 62:4 -5, 2Co 6:14
Thanks for Reading, Please Share!!!!
Special thanks to my Wife Sarah for her collaboration on the section about women's roles.
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